I NEED A JOB!!!

Seriously, im broke and in dire need of a few things (a new iPod for instance) so I need a effin job!! And with the economy the way it is, all the jobs that I would be qualified for are all filled by people who lost their office jobs....DAMMIT!! So seriously, If you out there in the interwebz can give me a job that involves keeping my clothes on, I will surely take it!!

...all I can do is just breathe in, breathe out...

UGH!!! Summer SUCKS!!! And my current situation doesnt make it any better. Why is it soo hard for me to just fully move on?? Yeah we're "friends" I guess, but I dont have the overwhelming desire to communicate with my friends every effin day!!! GOD, I annoy myself! Moving on has never been this hard....EVER. Hell, I've moved on during the relationship before, so why, why, why, WHY, is it soo muffuccin (yea, muffuccin) hard now? I just need the summer to go by hella slow, because the longer it is, the easier it will be for me to un-discomboulate my emotions.

I feel weak. Not SWV type 'weak in the knees.' Oh no, weak as in not as strong as I should be. If someone else came to me in the same situation im in right now I would tell them to suck it up and move on, so why the hell can I not take my own advice? I still dont know why he fucks with my emotions soo much. I have yet to realize what has made him soo special to me that I routinely sacrifice my pride and damn near my sanity over him.

And the real funny thing about this whole thing is, I dont want him back. Okay, scratch that, I dont know what I want. But, by saying that, wouldnt that mean I dont? Whatever, playing relationship councelor to myself is too hard.

I just want to let him go and regain the miniscule amount of sanity that I had before all this.